i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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