fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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