i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
