i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
