It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
