her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
