the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
