it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize