Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
