Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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