sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
