is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
