I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
