Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
