Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
