How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
