dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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