We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
