Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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