How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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