look no pants
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
