idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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