idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Farmville is her only friend.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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