that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize