Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
