checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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