I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
