Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
