We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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