I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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