I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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