boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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