addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
