it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
