God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
