do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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