What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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