My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
