life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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