what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
