this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
