what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
only if we run a train.
done.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
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