did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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