My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
