His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
