After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
