Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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