yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
