you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
