So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
