I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
