I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
