Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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