All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
