In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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