I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Randomize
