I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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