we have officially lost it.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
