I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i already hear my dad disowning me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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