The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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