Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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