We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
